Some Thoughts on Parenting Today vs. Parenting Before
Parenting has changed quite a bit in general. And the Christian home
has been impacted.
Here are some of the things I see.
Today parents have relinquished much of their authority to school,
government, social services, and to the medical and counseling
professions.
Today parents often look to so called authorities--either strangers on
the internet, in a book, or in a bureaucracy--for parenting issue
answers. Before parents looked to what they had learned in the Bible,
from parents, or common sense.
The role of the church is much diminished in society in general and
also in Christian families.
Today there is less spanking, but more time outs.
Today there is less time for the family to be together, with kids
often too busy away at school all day and then involved in after
school sports and so forth. Parents often work or spend more time in
their personal activities, so there is more pressure to try to impress
ideas on the kids or discipline them during the short time when
parents and kids are together. If the parents are divorced, which is
frequent, then the parent who has visiting rights feels pressure to
"have quality time" and please the child when he is with the child.
Today there is more conflict with parents not being on the same page
about raising the child.
Today families in the United States and Europe are small. Often just
one child. The extended family is often far away. So parents have less
family help and rely on strangers at daycare facilities or school to
take care of the children.
Today there is less spanking and more time outs. Today there is less
teaching of Biblical and moral principles and more emphasis on
conformity, compliance and social skills.
Parents face issues involving internet use, video games and social
media that parents never had to face before. Today, some parents
(especially in the U.S.) experience the horror of their child being
bullied by or joining a gang. Parents also have to deal with the easy
access of illegal drugs, such as marijuana, at schools and on the
streets.
Today's parents also have to deal with the fact that often their
children are diagnosed. Often the child is diagnosed with ADD or ADHD,
bipolar, or some other diagnosis. I am skeptical of these diagnoses. I
personally believe that love and understanding prevent or resolve most
issues. Nevertheless, many parents feel inferior to the authority
figure or expert and go along with what they are told.
Today the peer group has become a major factor. The television or the
mobile device is an ever present participant in every activity.
The only thing which I see as a positive development is that there is
less spanking (smacking) and corporal punishment. I am not in favor of
spanking.
But the sad fact is that today's parents, under the influence of
school or other authorities, feel compelled to put their children on
psychiatric meds or stimulants to get compliance.
Finally, father's role is often much diminished in today's home.
Of course, I believe that many issues can be prevented or managed when
parents are enlightened, have wisdom, have God in their lives, set a
good example, and adhere to Biblical principles. I strongly favor home
education (fortunately it is legal in many countries). I think most
issues would not develop if father were there for his kids. I may
sound old fashioned, but I do not think that kids should play video
games or have cell phones or mobile devices. I like books and reading.
Here are some verses:
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in
the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Colossians 3:21
But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly
cares for her own children. 1 Thessalonians 2:7
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder
them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew
19:14 (NIV)
